It's been a month since the Coronavirus has restricted our movements, habits and work patterns.
Moving into week five I can truly say thank-you for a Kundalini practice (and for the music!) Five years ago at the start of my Kundalini journey I probably would not have said the same - go away Kundalini!!!
Thankfully I stuck with it. Daily meditation, hard core kriyas to strengthen up a frazzled nervous system, cleaning, cleansing.... shifting blocks, throwing away years of accumulated baggage that had been weighing me down; listening, to breath, to others, to the voice of my soul.....it's been tough. And some days, it still is!!
Kundalini is not a happy, clappy, blissful, stretching and beautifying work-out. It hurts, it releases, it truly gets things moving...digging deep. There are tears, as emotions you didn't even know existed, rise and catch you unawares.
But softly, gently and very subtly over time lightness begins to infiltrate your entire being. A beautiful, clear lightness progressively replaces the heavy protective armour, lighting up your movement, mind and spirit.
I linger in that lightness now as I rest at home, accepting and trusting in the flow of these life changes. Previously I would have mentally battled with the challenges; particularly the financial uncertainties, the loss of control over life targets and ambitions. It was probably after the first year of continuous Kundalini practice that the experience of surrender and letting go finally hit me; when the grappling and clinging on ended, replaced by intuitively listening to what needed to be done.
I'm not sure my intuition guided me to teaching via Zoom. This was definitely mind-led, following the crowds as they tussled to rescue a semblance of normality.
"You need to teach on-line" came the cry.
"How on earth do I do that?" replied my negative mind, resisting the challenge.
This was my first lock-down lesson. The coronavirus crisis is shaking us up to look closely at what we are doing and forcing us to make changes, not to simply replicate old ways.
My initial frustration with the Zoom experience stemmed from this mindset - trying to replicate the blissful feelings of the Bleasby Hall class. The day that my internet crashed mid-class, as students stretched arms above their heads with long deep breaths, was the pivotal intuitive moment for me.
"This can never be the same, but how can my teaching make a difference?"
The next morning, I got up before sunrise and took to my mat. I felt the need for a tough physical kriya set to shift the energy blocks that were probably responsible for my resistance. Sweating, breathless and tingling with aliveness I sank into a very deep meditation. In the silence I could hear exactly what I needed to do.
The day before I had read a post from the Rosie May Foundation describing the struggle of their single mums in Sri Lanka due to the curfews and lock-down. During my meditation their faces appeared. I knew I should help. More importantly I knew that I could help.
Teach to help others.
Teach to make a difference.
And so my motivation to conquer the technological world of Zoom began afresh knowing that my students were donating to save these brave women and their families in Sri Lanka from hunger. Donation instead of a fee.
In terms of teaching, there have been no further internet crashes - I only needed one to shake me up! I'm using my own voice more during classes, chanting the mantras instead of using music, as internet sound issues still create a few problems. I'm also working harder on sending my healing heart vibration long distance, an intuitive skill that I always possessed but had forgotten, to be gently reminded of its power by a good friend who knows my heart well.
My over-riding lock-down lesson, and in fact life lesson, is to remember to be always guided by intuition. Be calm and speak directly in the light of your soul (found in your heart space) and then you can speak and act from intuition. Open the heart to your own intuition. Stop playing commotional games of apathy, sympathy, frustration and anger. Become open, become sensitive. At this time more than ever we must rely on our awareness, our intelligence, our compassion and our intuition. The disciplines that can give this to us are in Kundalini Yoga.
If you feel compelled to do so, please join my weekly Zoom Kundalini classes:
Thursdays 10 am & 6.30pm
and please donate what you can to:
Love & Light to you all.